PLAY HARD but don’t take it too seriously
Good sex is like a dinner party. You prepare what you are going to serve, depending on the guest list and expect everyone will have a good time.
Set the table (bed, sling, St. Andrews Cross), and make sure dessert is the perfect ending. But if the soufflé doesn’t rise, don’t beat yourself up or blame your mother. Interrupt play with complaints and dicks go limp.
Evenings that usually don’t work are those when a man closes his eyes and hopes everything will go well. That’s like wearing what he wore to work to a disco hoping someone with think him a well-paid executive and take him home.
Know who you are and what you want when you invite someone, including your partner, to play.
Expectations are different from planning. You can expect to have fun, and you can expect fireworks. Planning means you’re ready, you’ve thought of what might happen, and you’re prepared to shift course if your plan isn’t working. Don’t be afraid to admit to wanting fun. Admit you love sex with men and you’ll get pleasure doing that and so will the man you’re playing with.
Let loose. If you and your partner trust each other you can throw hesitations out the window and relax. Total relaxation is the essence of fine play. If it feels good try it. If you think it will feel good experiment.