In January I told my partner John our relationship wasn’t working. He had lived in San Francisco for six year and had not found a job. We had little that makes a relationship strong: no sex life, separate bedrooms, and little in common. John had never had a relationship and as a scientist it just wasn’t part of his make-up to want to make someone else’s life wonderful. No unexpected niceties, and never a word of thanks for the meals I cooked each night. Now on my own I feel a great weight has been lifted; I don’t feel judged, nor am I embarrassed about my finances.
Life does not get easier as we get older, but some of us gain tiny bits of wisdom. In the end it’s whether I think my life was worth it, and I’d hate to die thinking I harmed someone or failed to love someone who loved me. If that happened today I would have only one regret, that I never practiced Yoga. The rest, totally unpredicted, has been quite amazing.Two dogs keep me busy, and writing is joyful….. except when I’m not inspired and end up watching hateful TV.
Spring has finally arrived, and the garden at my new home in Sebastopol is full of surprises. If my life was normal, I’d go nuts. I know I’ll discover the strength to carry on, and friends have been unending in their support.