I am proud of being a great at sex. In my first years in San Francisco I moved up the ladder from sucking to fucking and on to fisting. Then I learned to play with pain with S&M, so I’m pretty well-rounded. Now at 72 I’ve hung up my spurs.
Making friends when I grew up was awkward and with one exception I never confided my homo secret. Promiscuity was the norm with the man who brought me out in San Francisco and I imprinted on him. He never dated the same man twice so our relationship soon became a non-sexual one. On my own I worked at being great sex and slept around to see how other men did it. Once I was great sex I had something men who loved sex wanted and I played with some very great talents. I had sex at least once a day and many times at the baths. Sex was my language and sex the most effective way to learn what makes gay men tick (A naked man can’t lie.) Through sex I discovered I am capable to receiving pleasure an emotion that eluded me growing up in Wisconsin.
To enhance my sexual experiences I experimented with psilocybin mushrooms, LSD, MDMA opium and cocaine; I even tried crack cocaine that sent me to a hospital in DC. The psychedelic drugs are my favorite for their ability to get me past myself.
Like my father who played golf on great courses like St. Andrew’s in Scotland and Pebble Beach in California I played at great sex clubs like the Catacombs in a beautiful Victorian on 21st Street and the Hothouse in a former SRO hotel South of Market.
Very early in my gay career Clay, the extraordinarily handsome man who taught me how to get fucked, said, “The universe provides.” I am a skeptic and I laughed him off, but an 18 year love with my beloved Michael proved him right. At 72 it happened again. Last year I longed to be touched the way I was touched in the 70s when we spent more time on dates touchning each other than we did penetrating each other. Four months ago I met a masseur and he touched me on his tale the same way I was touched in the 70s.
You ask, is this a new relationship? It is a non-sexual relationship because he touches me every week on his table but I have enough years under belt not to waste hours trying to imagine our future together.