the oil spill

Every day we learn more frightening facts about the oil gushing from the Deepwater Horizon well.  Every day there is another untested solution and every day there are reports of  it failing.  BP admits it has not prepared for such a catastrophe and is using antiquated measures like booms and dispersants that aren’t solving the […]

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thirty years of HIV

I’ve lived with HIV six times longer than I was married and almost twice as long as my partnership with Michael A. Schoch.  I’ve been positive more than half of my life as an out gay man.  They don’t give medals for doing that.  You get to eat and breathe, clear skin and more blood […]

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being alive and death

Aging takes various forms at various times in our lives. It means a loss of beauty, fewer dates, muscles tiring more easily, and lines forming around the eyes. For some it’s a time of loneliness, a period when it’s hard to make friends, but as gay men we don’t have to subscribe to that kind […]

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a good date

A good date is one where you can trust each other.  If you’re just sucking dick at the bookstore that’s not important. If he’s coming to your apartment is is, sotalk or chat online in advance and don’t be shy about talking about sex. If he shows up on time or phones to say he’ll […]

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internet dating

Why do some men my age say it’s harder to find boys to fuck on the Internet?  Guys, you are twenty years older. This is not the good old days.  Technology has changed and so have our bodies.  If you used the Internet you’d find a website for older men with younger men looking for older men.  […]

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street fairs

We had no street fairs in my hometown in Wisconsin just church rummage sales. My first was the Grant Avenue Street Fair in North Beach in 1973 jammed with people of all ages enjoying espresso and pastries in tie-dyed clothing. It was a world unlike any I’d known with men in leather pants and women […]

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military service

Yesterday I thought Don’t Ask Don’t Tell had died when I saw a rainbow flag flying over the National Guard Armory on 16th Street, a brick fortress big enough for tank maneuvers. Then I remembered the building had been sold to a company making adult films. I guess the flag meant that they’d moved beyond […]

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directions for making a porno movie

Do not start with two burly men walking a dark street in black leather. For music find something that promises joy, something that sounds like water running.  Save the waterfall for later. An otter might be nice swimming on his back, a bough of laurel his toy.  Or a boy of six watching his father […]

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the penis

Last night at a street fair I saw a couple eating chocolate coated bananas on a stick and that got me thinking about the penis. This proud symbol of our greatest pleasure has been getting attention ever since a caveman shaped a pole and stuck it between two stones and liked what he saw. Obelisks […]

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